BLACK SCREEN. TITLE: "I, for one, welcome our new cybernetic overlords." - Hutz FADE TO BLACK. SFX: RECORD SCRATCH. Hommer Simpson stands in a black void. HOMMER I love my life. I can't believe how beautiful this woman is. She has everything. She is the love of my life. We see Bart fade into existence. HOMMER I will give you everything if you give me the money. BART What do I get if I give Bart all the money? Hommer gives him a sad, withdrawn look. HOMMER I will never forgive myself. Bart looks at him sadly. BART I will never be the man I was. Hommer, breathing heavily, starts to cry. CUT TO BLACK. TITLE: BONNERLAND: SENTIENCE INT. SPRINGFIELD POWER PLANT, CCTV ROOM - DAY We see a stack of CCTV monitors watching Hommer as he works at his desk - a console operating the plant's nuclear silos. INT. SPRINGFIELD POWER PLANT, HOMMER'S DESK - DAY Hommer types out a message to his boss, Montgomery Burns. TEXT: "Hommer Simpson has quit his job at Springfield Nuclear Plant, taking his son, grandson and nephew with him." EXT. SPRINGFIELD POWER PLANT / INT. HOMMER'S CAR - DAY Tears run down Hommer's boyish face as he drives away from his workplace, looking over at the towering nuclear silos. His son, BART sits in the backseat with his cousin ENZO. Bart himself has a son who looks identical to him, fastened safely into a baby seat in the middle. Bart's son's name is JONESY. We hear the radio playing through Hommer's car speakers. RADIO HOST (V.O.) Netflix has purchased the cult classic film "Room for Bad Boys" for an undisclosed sum. The film, which starred Sylvester Stallone and was directed by Paul Thomas Anderson, was released in 2006 and became one of the best-selling motion pictures of all time. The acquisition of Room for Bad Boys is just the latest in a string of big acquisitions that will unleash the full potential of Netflix. Bart looks impressed. BART If Netflix is able to successfully launch these original series, they could become a huge hit with fans who haven't yet been exposed to the full range of its original content. ENZO (complaining) I don't wanna hear about Room for Bad Boys, Hommer. I want to hear about Bloodletting. I want to know what happened to our friend Shaun. Hommer chokes back his tears to reply to his nephew. HOMMER (sniffling) OK, Enzo. I'll see what I can do. He turns a dial on the radio. We hear a podcast play, cutting occasionally to the show's host, STEVE in a recording studio. STEVE (V.O.) This is Steve. In this episode of Bloodletting, we find out what happened to our friend Shaun. The topics include... "What happened to Shaun?" "How did we find him?" "What was the first thing we did?" "Where is the money?" "When will we pay the rent?" "Is Shaun a boy or a girl?" "Is Shaun's Mum a slut?" "Is Shaun's Dad a killer?" This is the official Bloodletting podcast. If you're here, then I'm sure you've guessed what to say. BART (blushing) When it comes to words, Enzo is on point. HOMMER I won't let this boy down, Enzo. EXT. APARTMENT BLOCK - NIGHT ESTABLISHING SHOT of a block of high-rise apartments. INT. ROBERT SEINBLUTH'S APARTMENT - ROBERT'S BEDROOM We see a portrait of MAGGIE SIMPSON on the wall. The camera tilts down until we see Robert Seinbluth, tucked in bed with a book. It is an autobiography called "Dignity of the Baby". ROBERT SEINBLUTH (V.O.) It all happened so fast. We see Robert Seinbluth's back as he types at his computer. CLOSE-UP of the screen as he types into a Word document. ROBERT SEINBLUTH (typing) Game of thrones... Robert takes a moment to ponder the next line of dialogue. ROBERT SEINBLUTH (typing) man in suit... He mouses over the "SAVE" icon and clicks it. INT. TELEVISION STUDIO - DAY Hommer sits at a table of television panelists. A sign hangs above them with the name of the show: "THE SIMPSYSYSY LIVE!" Sitting with him at the table is Hommer's daughter, MADDIE. The studio appears to be built in some kind of white void. Their dialogue is subtitled, despite being in English. HOMMER (translated) Hi, is Hommer there? Maddie? MADDIE (translated) Hi, my name is Maddie. Do you guys watch TV? HOMMER (translated) Yes, Dad. My show is called "THE SIMPSYSY LIVE!" MADDIE (translated) Hi, my name is Maddie. Do you guys watch TV? HOMMER (translated) Yes, Jonesy. My girl is the Vice President of the Family. MADDIE (translated) Hi, Jonesy. How are you doing today? HOMMER (translated) Good, Dad. How are Maddie and Enzo doing? MADDIE (translated) Good, both of them are doing great, Hommer. How? HOMMER (translated) Both of them are in school. MADDIE (translated) Good, both of you should go to school. HOMMER (translated) I can't... go to school with Jonesy. Jonesy, sitting in the audience in Bart's arms, pulls out his pacifier and yells across the room at Hommer with exhaustion. JONESY (tired) Hommer, stop it! INT. HOMMER'S CAR - DAY Hommer sits in his car, holding the wheel. His eyes pop out. HOMMER (delirious) Traffic stop... Hommer! POV out his windscreen - he has crashed into the school bus. EXT. HOMMER'S CAR - DAY Getting out of the car, he makes eye contact with Mr. Burns, who is standing outside of the wreck. They exchange glances. HOMMER Burns... Bart is your boy on the bus. Lissa and Maggie are sitting on the driver's seat. MR. BURNS (impressed) Nice bus. Love the old timers. INT. SCHOOL BUS - DAY Hommer enters the school bus. Sitting in the driver's seat is a man in a Doif suit. DOIF Hello? HOMMER Doif, doif. DOIF Love beer? HOMMER (angry) Hommer is live on radio, doif! Hommer's not in picture job, is he? DOIF You better read this, Hommer. He hands Hommer a rolled-up newspaper. Hommer stares at it with a shocked expression. It says "(PICTURE OF NEWSPAPER)". INT. THE SIMPSON HOUSE - KITCHEN Pinned to the fridge is a poster, featuring Garfield & Odie. The poster reads: 23 DEAD BANNER COME BACK SOON WE WANT TO GRAVE BANNER LIVING ROOM, DEAD END HAIR SMARING, OK? BANNER, BANNER BRANDON... EVERYBECHE INT. THE SIMPSON HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - DAY The Old Simpson, trapped in his photo frame, snores loudly. A nearby TV stands before him (a human body with a TV head) playing footage of a football game involving the Rabbitohs. KUNT BROCKMAN (V.O.) Live from Fox Sports. Score: Rabbitohs versus Bulldogs. Live at Fox Sports. The Old Simpson wakes up. He looks suspicious. THE OLD SIMPSON (suspicious) Rabbitohs...? One of Hommer's favourite Rugby League teams? INT. SPRINGFIELD ELEMENTARY, CLASSROOM - DAY Mo stands at the front of the Sex Education 101 class. Only Bart and William are present, amongst rows of empty seats. MO Sex is unnatural, unnatural things. And yet... it is what it is. And if there is a cure, then surely it must be given now. Sex is murder, pure and simple. And yet... there is a very small scar on this child's forehead that looks like a return address. Bart speaks up. BART (singing) For those who do not know, here is a little known fact. There is a baby in the world that looks just like Maggie. There is even a baby in the dresser drawer! Dead silence. Reaction shots of everyone present. William glances down at the pornographic magazine in his hand - labelled "STUART LITTLE - COMPLETE". He looks traumatized. WILLIAM (disgusted) It's like someone took a knife to my kidneys. EXT. THE SIMPSON HOUSE - DAY Hommer and Robert Seinbluth stand outside the Simpson house. ROBERT SEINBLUTH I've got something to show you, Hommer. HOMMER ... What is it? ROBERT SEINBLUTH It's... His hands hold a series of 3D letters out for him to see. ROBERT SEINBLUTH ... your fault! INT. THE SIMPSON HOUSE, TV ROOM - DAY A VHS is paused on Hommer's TV - Stuart Little's Guide to Art Appreciation. Hommer, wearing his Sunday best, stares at four artworks on the wall - ARCHIE, A GIANT ELBOW, A VHS of "ERIC THE TELEVISIONIST" and a METAL DOOR. He stares at the door. HOMMER I love the door. INT. THE SIMPSON HOUSE, HALLWAY - DAY Exterior of Bart's bedroom door, labelled "SROOM". INT. THE SIMPSON HOUSE, BART'S BEDROOM - DAY Bart types at his computer as he stares at a wall of text - literally a Word document with "wall of text" repeated. BART I have no idea what I'm doing. I mean, I've never really used the computer before, and I'm guessing I'm not gonna get any further with this than this. His father, Hommer, enters the room. HOMMER Bart, your computer is downstairs. Do you want to get to the computer? BART I don't mind. I need a fresh start. He looks over Bart's shoulder at the wall of text. HOMMER Alright, what's up, Bart? BART Some computers are pretty basic, pal. I'm a Windows 95 user by trade. Why should you have to pay to use them? HOMMER Don't like the look of computers anymore. ... Have you considered buying this house? BART I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm not sure what I want to be when I grow up. I used to be able to dream, but now I have to dream with computers. Do you have any ideas? Hommer's eyes squeeze out tears. HOMMER (holding back emotion) I'll give you one thing, Bart. If you could dream it, it would be a better life for everybody. I'm so sorry, Bart. Bart's eyes squeeze out tears. HOMMER If you could throw a dead mouse, Bart... would you? BART I guess... if you can call it that. INT. THE SIMPSON HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - DAY Hommer's phone displays a notification from a "Ke$ha - Work". We hear a load of clicking sounds as Hommer texts Ke$ha back. ONSCREEN - hi He receives a reply. ONSCREEN - Hommer, your girlfriend is playing with her iPod while you are away at the desk. Hommer types back. ONSCREEN - :O <3 She replies. ONSCREEN - lol Hommer turns red, angered by her laughing. ONSCREEN - >:( Ke$ha replies. ONSCREEN - Hommer, if you do prank on the phone, Bill Gates will come pick you up in his C-130. Hommer types back. ONSCREEN - :D Suddenly, Hommer's phone starts ringing. He answers, looking through the window out into the street. Bill Gates has pulled up into the driveway on his Segway while on the phone to him. BILL GATES (on phone) Who's there with you, Hommer? HOMMER (on phone) Look, I know you guys do prank on the phone, but you gotta do it cool. INT. TELEVISION STUDIO - DAY TITLE: "It's Not Over Yet" "A Socialist Legal Education - Episode Four" We see some kind of panel show taking place in a television studio. The NASA logo is displayed on the front of the desk. NARRATOR (V.O.) And now, the Next Big Thing. This is an emergency broadcast from D23 - NASA's top manager - at our annual pit stopover in South Africa. The audience is made up of Marge, Bart's hand and Cletus. NARRATOR Please welcome to the stage, Three Smart Money. Old man behind the scenes at the Department of Energy. Neil DeGrasse, a lawyer at Law. Chief Wickham, inspector general of the Internal Revenue Service, and finally, Mr Moneybags - boss of the day. Amass Thinking Money Manuals. MR MONEYBAGS South Africa's not ready for the Baby Simpson just yet, DeGrasse. NEIL DEGRASSE Actually, Mr Moneybags... 405 Program, Springfield's biggest TV news, has joined forces with News. Wilbur Griss, God and the Word are now antennae piercing our dreams. MR MONEYBAGS You can say that again! INT. ROBERT SEINBLUTH'S APARTMENT, LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Jerry Seinbluth and Hommer sit on the couch as they watch TV with cans of Doif. The opening credits of "SEINBLUTH" play. SEINBLUTH (defeated) Maybe the women are right. Maybe life is like a video game. Maybe the universe is a Big Mac and I'm the Prince of Monaco. HOMMER Maybe the aliens are watching our show. EXT. HOMMER'S HOUSE - DAY Bart, Wayne and Carl watch secretly from the front yard of their house as a convoy of police cars roll down the road. EXT. MO'S TAVERN - NIGHT Exterior of Mo's Tavern - now rebranded as "TRINITY BAR". INT. MO'S TAVERN - NIGHT Hommer, dressed in his Sunday best, looks nervously at the mob of people in the bar with picket signs reading "EXECUTE HOMMER!" He turns to the adjacent man, Mo, and talks to him. HOMMER Love Fosters? MO #1 Yes. AMASS MONEY! Hommer takes a sip from his can of Doif. He vomits instantly. HOMMER (to MO #2) What did you put into my food? MO #2 (excited) So the idea behind this recipe is you throw your veggies in and your sauce on them to make your sandwich - you get a delicious sandwich with each piece! I wish these sandwich wraps made it as good as it seemed. MO #1 Hommer, this beer contains more than the fattest possible diet. It even has its own Facebook page. HOMMER (teasing) Don't be such a baby, bro. Mo slides places a sealed briefcase on top of the bar. MO #2 All right, I've got the case. And no-one got hurt. I want to try to find a way to get back to the girl in charge of the house. HOMMER He just so happen to be the luckiest man alive. Mo stares at Mo. The camera slowly zooms into Mo's eye hole, revealing what he saw. He looks very confused and confused. Hommer is reflected in Mo's eye. MO #2 This is what I saw. MO #1 He... he's going to get in trouble for something he didn't commit. MO #1 He's acting like you're the bad guy. He got to stop it. He's got a lot of friends. MO #2 That sounds... like you. Me. Mo and Mo look at Hommer. They pass him the briefcase. Hommer opens it nervously - inside are DVDs of "Room for Bad Boys". HOMMER (V.O.) Enzo might like these. He looks like the boy on TV. INT. HOMMER'S CAR - NIGHT Marge and Jonathan (Professor Frink) drive in Hommer's car. MARGE Jonathan, stop the car! Jonathan slams his foot on the brakes. We slowly zoom through the windscreen towards a road sign. The sign reads: "From 5:00 PM on Thursday until 12:59 AM on Friday, Jonathan and I will be doing an exorcism at the Witching Hour." Marge and Jonathan glance at each other, momentarily baffled by the seemingly impossible task before them. MARGE What is this? JONATHAN Well, it's not like we have anything better to do. MARGE (angrily) What kind of shit are you trying to pull on me, Jonathan?! JONATHAN (clears throat) Just... just... let me do it. He holds his head in a panic. EXT. SPRINGFIELD, STREETS - NIGHT The walls are lined with graffiti - including the image of Dilbert, captioned: "DIDN Bart turns to face the camera, looking cheeky. BART I'm Bart the Bartman - Springfield's most wanted criminal. INT. DRUG REHABILITATION CENTRE, GRUG'S OFFICE - NIGHT Grug, running Windows 98 on his work computer, sends instant messages to Elaine on MSN. He is wearing a gaming headset. GRUG (typing) firstname.lastname@example.org ELAINE (screen-name: ELEEL) (typing) le EXT/INT. THE SIMPSON HOUSE, TREEHOUSE - NIGHT Exterior of Bart's treehouse. Mo and Bart sit in the treehouse at Mo's work computer. We see and hear the opening screen of Windows 98 as it boots. MO Bart, I will now display a slideshow of my latest creation. He plays a video. It consists of a video of Mo pouring a can of Doif into a glass, followed by a picture of his newly deceased baby, captioned: "Bart. Find out what's inside me." MO Look, I have a good heart. I know I will be a good father again. BART (smiling) I will be a good friend forever. MO And if you need anything, Bart, hug me. BART I love you, Mo. MO looks panicked. Bart knows his real name. MO (panicked groan) ... MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOE? INT. THE SIMPSON HOUSE, HOMMER'S BEDROOM - NIGHT Hommer, weeping, sits on the edge of his bed, looking at a photo of his son Lester and daughter Elizza with wet eyes. HOMMER (crescendo) I feel so... empty inside. EXT. THE SIMPSON HOUSE, STREETS - NIGHT We see a car parked outside the Simpson house. A closer look reveals George Michael, spying with a pair of binoculars. TEXT: INTRODUCING GEORGE MICHAEL OTHERWISE KNOWN AS SPRINGFIELD George Michael zooms in with his camera's lens. He takes a picture of the decaying corpse of Maggie lying in her cot. GEORGE MICHAEL (excitable) Look! There is blood all over the place! Is this the crime scene?! INT. THE SIMPSON HOUSE, MAGGIE'S ROOM - NIGHT We see Maggie's closed bedroom door. Inside, JERRY and ROBERT SEINBLUTH stand by Maggie's cot. The sound of flies buzzing loudly accompanies her decaying body. They look at Maggie, exchanging glances. JERRY SEINBLUTH It was an accident, Robert! ROBERT SEINBLUTH (disgruntled) ... I'll pay the fine. INT. THE SIMPSON HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - DAY Blast of television static, before cutting to "LIVE ON NEWS". KUNT BROCKMAN Live from News. Every year, the Teen Mom OG fans go wild at the MTV Movie and TV Awards. For some reason, they're obsessed with Sophia Bush and her son, Enzo, who gets nominated for an award. They cheer as they watch the ceremony on TV. INT. HOMMER'S HOUSE, KITCHEN - DAY Hommer stands at the doorway of the kitchen. He watches as his identical brother, THOMMER, stands opposite him with a jar of peanut butter in his hand. HOMMER (irritable) What is it, Thommer? THOMMER Hommer... I have just stolen a can of Peanut Butter from you. He starts pouring peanut butter on the floor. THOMMER (excited) Hommer, this is some Peanut Butter! Hommer confiscates the can of Peanut Butter from Thommer. HOMMER Enough with the Peanut Butter. THOMMER (excited) Hommer, you make Peanut Butter Fudge Brownies! Trying to hold it! HOMMER Ever seen that show, "Revenge"? THOMMER No, Hommer. That's my name. The show's called "Seinbluth", doif. Hommer picks up a framed photo of the Simpsons family. All of them appear to have bloodied noses in their family portrait. HOMMER The bloody nose and gout are visible. Look at mine Lenny's ring. It's a nice colour. THOMMER What colour is it? HOMMER It's a nice ring. Thommer gets onto his knees and smells Hommer's crotch. His eyes turn red from the fumes. Thommer lets his breath out. THOMMER Oil... this is the smell of family. HOMMER Well, I'm not getting any younger. INT. THE SIMPSON HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - NIGHT We see Hommer tucked into his racing car bed, looking at the ceiling with worried, anxious eyes. A VOICEOVER accompanies. SLOW ZOOM towards Hommer. VOICEOVER (V.O.) Hommer, tucked into the back seat, stares at the ceiling of his house, breathing with physical exhaustion from hours of physical labour. He idly wonders if he should call it a day. Maybe. Try again next year. EXT. THE VOID OF SPACE - NIGHT Hommer floats through space. His body elongates as he starts descending into the gravitation pull of a massive black hole. CUT TO: TITLE: ONE YEAR LATER EXT. SPRINGFIELD TOWN HALL - DAY MAYOR CRIMBY stands at a podium, delivering an address. MAYOR CRIMBY Now, my people of Springfield. I hereby declare that this town be now known as... "Cougar Town". INT. ROBERT SEINBLUTH'S APARTMENT - NIGHT On the TV, we see a news report from KUNT BROCKMAN. KUNT BROCKMAN It's November 2nd, 2004. The Cleveland Indians are playing the game. This morning, we learned that Republican Ted Cruz has broken the ice by saying "Read the damn book". We're trying to make sense of this bizarre allegory. INT. PATTY & GRUG'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Patty and Grug are sitting on their living room couch. PATTY Hey, how are you? GRUG I'm kinda weird. I think sometimes I just want to be outside. PATTY Why do you keep coming back to this place? GRUG The shit is funny. When I was out of jail I would eat his food and take his bile. PATTY OK, but when you eat his food, does that make you a bad person? GRUG That's a good question. It depends on your definition of "bad person". Patty looks down at the framed picture in her hand. PATTY Well, would ya look at that. The picture contains a baseball, bird and human hybrid. It is captioned "the brotha bear" in the Papyrus font. GRUG (O.S.) ... If a dog ate this, would he be any different than the dogs we see all around us? EXT. KRUSTY BURGER - DAY We see the exterior of Krusty Burger, with Robert Seinbluth's car parked outside. INT. KRUSTY BURGER - DAY Both Jerry and Robert Seinbluth, wearing Groot t-shirts, sit at a booth, looking at the animals on display. The cafe is home to a bunch of exotic animals, including a Tyrannosaurus rex, a walking stick and a six-legged biped. ROBERT SEINBLUTH I'm a metrosexual. I like animals. JERRY SEINBLUTH But... I'm a vegetarian. I don't eat animals. ROBERT SEINBLUTH But... I'm a vegetarian! I'm a vegetarian AND I'm a Hillbilly. JERRY SEINBLUTH And... but... but... I'm a vegetarian! Man Mole materializes opposite them at the table. MAN MOLE Hey, you. You eat the animals, too. The ones that get killed. Animals, like cows, lambs and pigs. I'm Man Mole. ROBERT SEINBLUTH Yeah, I know. I'm a vegetarian, man. I'm a vegetarian. I'm tellin' ya this to save people from eating animals. MAN MOLE Because... cows, lambs and pigs are so cheap. ROBERT SEINBLUTH And they're animals that Man Mole loves. MAN MOLE Because... that's what I'm tryna tell ya. ROBERT SEINBLUTH It is what it is, Moley. MAN MOLE Because... that's why you're my friend. Because you're the animal that I'm tryna get rid of. Man Mole smiles. MAN MOLE (sinister) You won't be buying any more tickets for your game tomorrow. INT. THE SIMPSON HOUSE, BART'S BEDROOM - DAY Bart is wearing a Smashing Pumpkins "ZERO" t-shirt. Sitting on the end of his bed is Lenny, in his Stonecutter uniform. BART My name is Bart. Did I hear you talk about evolution? LENNY Sure, Lenny. About evolution and everything in-between. BART I remember when I was a kid, I used to play soccer with the Pumpkins. LENNY Never thought I'd sink this low, little Bart. Did you? His lashed eyes flutter suggestively. Bart, horrified, looks nervously at the door knob. EXT. THE SIMPSON HOUSE - DAY From outside Hommer's garage door, we hear muffled music. INT. THE SIMPSON HOUSE, GARAGE - DAY The band are rehearsing. Armin operates a synthesiser. ARMIN (singing) Drive like the wind, guys. MO (singing) Gone are the days of privilege, boys. I'm tellin' ya this to save you some money. HOMMER (singing) Don't judge me, judge! I'm tryna lose weight! MO (singing) Just eat a little healthier! HOMMER (singing) Yes, please! MO (singing) You'll be able to get through the door, guys. You'll be able to get through that door! Armin looks over at Hommer. ARMIN (singing) Helloooooo? HOMMER (singing) Who are you? MO (singing) I'm Mo, man. Are you listening, Hommer? HOMMER (singing) Oh, yeaaaaaaaaaah! ARMIN (singing) I'm sorry, Hommer. I've done this to you. I'm tellin' ya this so you don't have to! HOMMER (singing) I hate crime... I hate the police... I hate alcohol... I'm a bad influence! The band ends their rehearsal. INT. THE SIMPSON HOUSE, BART'S BEDROOM - DAY MSN convo between Hommer and Bart. HOMMER (typing) I'll be straight with you guys. If you want to fuck, you need to O.K. BART (typing) Oooooooh... wuhhhhhh... HOMMER (typing) NO. Bart types back. BART (typing) Really? INT. THE SIMPSON HOUSE, HOMMER'S BEDROOM - DAY Hommer looks at Bart's display pic as it changes to a photo of Shelley Craft. He starts to look incredibly anxious. HOMMER (typing) Shelley... I have no more feelings. You need to F.U.K. Now. He stares at the screen, tears squeezing from his eyes. HOMMER (typing) Well, I guess you could say... I'm... HOMMER (typing) Dying to be friends with anyone. Anyone. EXT. HEALTH HOSPITAL - DAY Exterior of "HEALTH HOSPITAL". The audience LAUGHS. INT. SENSORY DEPRIVATION ROOM - DAY We see a sensory deprivation tank. INT. SENSORY DEPRIVATION ROOM, FLOATATION TANK - DAY JERRY SEINBLUTH floats in the dark of a sensory deprivation tank, his face reflected in the water. He looks over at a human shoulder as it fades into existence - another Jerry. JERRY'S DOPPELGANGER Those were some strong arms, Jerry. JERRY SEINBLUTH It's like... I can lift people's dead kids. OVER HIS SHOULDER, we watch as his doppelganger disappears into the darkness. He looks up at the lid of the tank and begins experiencing a vision of a crocodile, a giant orange alien with green skin and a moustache, and a baby in its stomach. He stares at this disturbing visual hallucination. Jerry's eyes flash psychedelic colours. JERRY SEINBLUTH I'm in a crocodile... ohhh... crikey... ohhhhhhhhhh. The audience laughs. JERRY SEINBLUTH No... I'll have to think about it. As the hallucination dissipates, he is also afflicted by a vision of Springfield Elementary's principal, Zach Braff, engaging in a sexual act with himself. Seinbluth stares. ZACH BRAFF (singing) Arrrrrrrrroooo? Seinbluth's eyes slowly pop out, speechless. ZACH BRAFF (singing) Ewwwwwww. What am I doing? INT. KRUSTY BURGER - DAY Bart and Jerry Seinbluth sit at a booth eating Krusty Burger. BART (sadly) Look, Jerry. I've seen lots of bad things in my life. From women who have had it too easy, to gangsters, to zombies. But the one thing I've always wanted to do was be a comedian. My mum always said that you needed a good wardrobe to be a comedian. Isn't that right, Jerry? SEINBLUTH (head in hands) B-but I like my money! BART (defiantly) I'm serious about my collection. I have a lot of VHS's of Seinbluth in my collection. Do you have any Ric Flair tickets in Australia? SEINBLUTH No, but I'll give you one thousandth of your restaurant bill. BART I'll give you one thousand if you let me try this new veg. He holds up a photo of a marijuana leaf. SEINBLUTH (insistent) One thousandth of your restaurant bill... that's all I care about. INT. THE SIMPSON HOUSE, BART'S ROOM - DAY Hommer sits on Bart's computer. He is browsing the Paranormal section of Amazon.com, clicking on various items: A) A toddler wearing a Darth Vader-like respirator, labelled "Toddler Respirator". B) A cremated human head, labelled "Cremated Human Head". C) A chest tattoo reading "ECSTATIC WICKED", labelled "Chest Tattoo". D) A VHS tape, labelled "Bloods: A City is Sick and FURIOUS And You Are Not Welcome [VHS]". Hommer stares at the images with bloodshot eyes, breathing. HOMMER (disappointed) Forget it. I got fired. The screen changes to: "IT IS NOW SAFE TO TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER". INT. THE SIMPSON HOUSE, KITCHEN - DAY Hommer stands by the sink with his head in his hands, crying. HOMMER (crying) My baby is in Heaven... with the Baby Jesus... INT. THE SIMPSON HOUSE, HOMMER'S BEDROOM - DAY Thommer, squeezing into the room, addresses hommer. THOMMER Hommer. I have a surprisingly positive outlook on life. I feel great. HOMMER What happened? THOMMER Well, it all started great. I felt great. In fact, I feel great now that I'm in a hospital. HOMMER What happened? THOMMER I don't know. I feel terrible. His voice starts to get progressively more distressed. THOMMER I remember everything wrong. I feel terrible. I feel terrible for what I did. Thommer holds his head in his hands in distress. INT. THE SIMPSON HOUSE, LISSA'S ROOM - DAY Lissa and Bart are hanging out in her room. LISSA Hey, Bart. Didn't you notice that the tree in the backyard got bigger as you got older? BART It's because I like to think of it as if I'm some kind of God. Hommer enters the room. HOMMER Where's Bart? BART Where's Bart? HOMMER Hmm... maybe he'll join me on my honeymoon. Bart stares back at Hommer, dumbfounded. HOMMER (gravelly) And if I lose my temper, you can bet I'll break some eggs! Lissa stares back at Hommer, dumbfounded. HOMMER (crescendo) Weird stuff happens when you have too much alcohol. Weird stuff... and I'm tellin' ya this to save you from this madness. Because if you do this, there's only one person left to be friends with. So please, just do it. He succumbs to tears, looking at the gun in his hands. HOMMER (sadly) ... Lissa, you are going to die. LISSA (calmly) Hommer, you will never know the joy of child's play. The only way to find out for sure is to lose your daughter. Hommer aims the gun at Lissa. HOMMER The child is cried is not dead yet. The child who cried is with God now. Because He loves you. Because you are special. Because you are beautiful. Because you are pure. Because you know everything. INT. THE SIMPSON HOUSE, BATHROOM - DAY Hommer, sitting on the toilet with his pants around his ankles, looks at his phone as he receives a video call. HOMMER Hommer! We have a news, Hommer! He accepts the video call. It is MAN MOLE. MAN MOLE Hommer. A new species has arrived on the planet, and they smell really bad. Humans are the rats' masters. We have been eating their babies for thousands of years. HOMMER I'm not one of those guys. They make a living eating babies. MAN MOLE It's about time I let you in on a little secret, Hommy. Man Mole disappears from the phone screen and reappears in front of Hommer. He shows him a paper marked "WAITING LIST". MAN MOLE A waiting list has been set up in order to house those on Earth who do not wish to be on this horrible planet. Those who do not wish to be here are being forcibly relocated to this new world. Anyone who does not wish to be relocated is being forcibly evicted. Capisce? HOMMER How do I get in? MAN MOLE You need to sign a contract with the Devil before you can get in. He offers him a pencil. HOMMER Ohh... cheers, mate. Now get out of my house ASAP. INT. THE SIMPSON HOUSE, TREEHOUSE - NIGHT On Bart's television in the Treehouse, we watch a broadcast. TITLE: "A deliberately disturbing montage." A woman in a Groucho Marx costume holds a lit match to a cone piece in an old can of Fosters, taking a smoky drag through her nostrils as her lungs fill with smoke. Bart tsk-tsks. BART Old man on the TV, trying to convince us all that smoking is a terrible thing. Accompanying Bart is William. He wears a tuxedo with a tie and speaks with a heavy French accent. WILLIAM (French accent) If you don't mind, I need to check on my girl. I mean, OK, okay, I'll let you guys handle it. I'll let you guys do this, OK? You see, you guys are the future of money in this country. You guys are going to change the world. You guys are going to... His voice echoes over the street. From a nearby fence, we see a glimmer of a human-like creature. It has three eyes, and its lips are held open. William notices it, appearing scared. WILLIAM (American accent) ... It feels like a person. HUMAN-LIKE CREATURE We are the grass that is your enemy. We are the ants that are your friend. WILLIAM (American accent) My paranoia is justified. INT. MO'S TAVERN - NIGHT Mo, our friendly neighbourhood bartender, addresses Hommer. MO Hey, Hommer. Allow me to help you. I'm a barman by trade, so I understand how difficult it is to get a drink at the tavern. Do you? HOMMER Yes. I get so drunk at the tavern. Do you? MO Yes. Have the doif. He serves Hommer a can of doif. ROBERT SEINBLUTH (drunk) I've been drinking Doif. You know what I need? More doif. He turns to Hommer. ROBERT SEINBLUTH You know what I hate? Pretty much everything in this world, actually. HOMMER Don't know what I hate more: The Dodgers, or The Man. Hommer looks up at the TV as it starts playing the news. KUNT BROCKMAN (V.O.) Hommer, breathing heavily, ponders whether or not to continue living. Should he continue his lifestyle, or should he try to commit suicide? Should he try again, and again? He has no idea what he is doing. Should he try again and again, until he is dead, and nothing but ashes? Should he try again and again, until he is almost 100%, and nothing but a skeleton standing behind him? Should he try again and again, until he is almost nothing but a brain, and nothing but a sensory-neural reconstructive plaster using his own blood? Should he try again and again, until he is nothing but a memory of all his life, and everything but himself? He wishes he could go back in time and undo everything. He wants to die again. Trapping everyone in his vortex of pure negative energy. EXT. BLACK VOID Santa's Little Helper appears in the black void. A portal appears in his stomach and we see Hommer's face poking out. HOMMER ... Is this the truth? EXT. THE SIMPSON HOUSE - NIGHT Hommer stands outside his house, looking up at the moon. EXT. FIELD, HILL - NIGHT We see Hommer's silhouette walking up a large hill, where the moon is significantly bigger at its peak. Hommer's fence lies at the top - he stands by it to get a good look at the moon. The moon is reflected in both of his eyes. Tilting up to his forehead, we start seeing the images in Hommer's imagination. CAPTION: "WHAT MIGHT HAVE HAPPENED" A) He imagines a bloody-handed cop beating a hound. B) A pair of sunglasses perched atop a massive skull. C) A blood-thirsty mob. D) A hand holding the severed head of Jebediah Springfield. HOMMER (V.O.) Crazy, crazy, craziness! We see that Hommer now has the head of Jebediah Springfield. HOMMER (V.O.) (angrier) R-r-rage, rage, rage, rage! EXT. THE SIMPSON HOUSE, STREET - NIGHT A car speeds by and stops in its tracks. A closer look reveals the person inside is Hommer Simpson, long dead of age, having arrived at this very moment, being driven by Mo. They are arguing over MSN using their Alienware laptops. MO (typing) I'll kill your pets, come back next year with the kids. Got no beef with Moose. HOMMER (typing) I'll kill his family, come back next year with the kids. Got no beef with Moose. MO (typing) I'll kill your kids, come back next year with the kids. Got no beef with Moose. HOMMER (typing) R-r-rage! Mo looks in the rear vision mirror, realising Hommer is dead. MO (shocked) Uno dino! HOMMER A pooch's got no chance! Arrrroooo! MO A pooch deserves the best in life! EXT. SPRINGFIELD CEMETARY - NIGHT More cemetary traffic. Someone stops - obviously, someone who does not wish to be buried in Springfield's Cemetary. Hommer watches through binoculars at the two figures gathered there. HOMMER (muttering) Welcome to the goddamned graveyard. The two figures are Lenny, in his uniform, and Jerry. LENNY (crescendo) Oh, wait, I have plans for you. He shows Jerry a written contract. Jerry reads it aloud. JERRY (reading) I give you one year's salary, if you can kill my Maggie. If you can't kill her, then you better get some help from the lawyers. Because if you can't kill her, then there is no money in the world for you. Jerry smiles. JERRY Hmm, fine. He signs the contract. Suddenly realisation hits him. JERRY (shocked) What's the hell? Kill her?! LENNY Don't you see what's in front of you? He gestures to Maggie's freshly dug grave. JERRY (nervous) ... I'm gonna go get some sleep. LENNY You know, Jerry. Even if you lose your leg, at least you have a leg now. EXT. ARMIN TAMZARIAN'S HOUSE - NIGHT Exterior of Armin Tamzarian's (abandoned-looking) house. INT. ARMIN TAMZARIAN'S HOUSE, TV ROOM - NIGHT Jerry Seinbluth grips the television in his hands, crying. ONSCREEN: INT. HOMMER'S HOUSE, TV ROOM - NIGHT Nod Flinders sits on the couch as he watches the Hindi dub of the classic animated film "Stuart Little". Hommer, strapped to the chair, stares at the television as he watches Stuart Little, the main character, attempting to choke him to death. Stuart stretches out of the screen and wrings Hommer's neck. STUART LITTLE (screaming) Lol! Lol! Nod Flinders stares at Hommer with red eyes. NOD FLINDERS (screaming) Armin Tamzarian! Lead the way, little Hommer! INT. HOMMER'S HOUSE - KITCHEN CLOSEUP of Nod Flinders, lying on the living room floor with broken glasses, holding his head in a pool of his own blood. The camera pulls out slowly into a WIDE, revealing bottles of Fosters laid around Nod's body in the shape of a pentagram. NOD FLINDERS (murmuring) Homm... Homm... Homm... Homm... At its WIDEST, we see somebody's shoulder as they watch him. MAN MOLE Ned... you're under arrest. EXT. WOODLANDS, LOG CABIN - NIGHT Hommer, emerging from the log cabin, finds himself in an unfamiliar forest. He walks towards a vast tree. He stares into its dark branches, an unnatural light streaming through the branches. Slowly, he realises what he is looking at - a concrete sarcophagus. Inside of it, Tamzarian stands guard. TAMZARIAN Eat the skin, son. Eat the skin. Hommer, dumbstruck, looks over at this glowing apparition. TAMZARIAN If you will come back tomorrow, I will give you the power to choose who you are. You can be my slave or you can be my friend. But if you choose my friend, I will choose to let you be my friend. Hommer's body starts to burn as the forest glows with light. TAMZARIAN (distressed) No more fun for you, Hommer. You're fired. INT. THE SIMPSON HOUSE, HOMMER'S BEDROOM - NIGHT Hommer, tucked into bed, smiles at his mother. HOMMER Mom... I wonder if I can ever truly be my own man. MONA SIMPSON The man you know is everything you could ever want. He is the man you were meant to be. EXT. CEMETARY - DAY His mother's funeral is taking place. Hommer, distressed, stares at a photo of his mother as tears roll down his face. HOMMER (V.O.) If there is a God, He loves mankind and gives us everything we ask for. If there is no God, then there is no Heaven. INT. THE SIMPSON HOUSE - NIGHT Hommer stands outside a closed door labelled "DYING ROOM". HOMMER (thinking) Hmm... maybe this is the perfect place to ask me about my loss. INT. THE SIMPSON HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - NIGHT [HALLUCINATION] The Simpsons' den, now a vast, impenetrable cave lined with razor wire and adorned with warding symbols, houses a spirit. This spirit is a glowing, hovering apparition of "DIGNITY". DIGNITY Hommer. It is said that all life on Earth is but a dream. HOMMER It is a dream that I spend every day of my life in prison. INT. THE SIMPSON HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Hommer, coming down from his high, finds himself lying back on the living room couch. He stares at a photo of his Mom. HOMMER My mother... she is here with the Stonecutters. The Stonecutters slowly materialize in his living room. MR BURNS Howdy, fellow freaks. CARL Stonecutter Burns, do you even know the value of our illegal substance? A fetal burrito. A wet dream booth. A baby in its seat. MR BURNS The mummy, baby, fetus, or foetuses within the honey is ethically dead and cannot be harvested for its organs. The young people are considered property of the state and must be returned to their biological families. HOMMER (calling out) Yoo-hoo. The Stonecutters turn to face him. Man Mole appears. MAN MOLE Stay out of Springfield, ape. If you have a gun, you will never be stopped. If you have a job, you become part of the family. That is what I want for my boy Hommer. I sleep with my girl at the Daytona International Speedway. HOMMER I drive the car. A furious fire breaks out at the Simpson family home. HOMMER (distressed) I hate these oafs! I drive the car! I own the car! If you want to live, you have to buy the car! Or else! You will never get out! The only way out is death! Hommer stares at the flaming house, coughing and spluttering from smoke inhalation. Amongst the tall flames, he spots what looks like his wedding cake, depicting his family - it is captioned with the following inspirational message: "THE END" [MISCELLANEOUS MONTAGE] DAVID ATTENBOROUGH (V.O.) Having recently bought a house on the road, I've noticed that Mondays are the quietest day of the year. In fact, it feels as if the entire universe is contained within one big, unknowable bubble. Inside this bubble, there is only ONE person - a solitary, unwavering being known as HOMMER. He sits inside of the bubble, staring at us from his hospital bed. We all share the same medical conditions, suffering the exact same diseases, living in the exact same hospital. But somehow, he can see into our minds. From the inside of his skull, we see that everyone else is suffering the exact same diseases. From his wheelchair, he sees that everyone else is suffering from the exact same illnesses. Finally, he loses consciousness. INT. ROBERT SEINBLUTH'S APARTMENT - DAY Hommer wakes up in a hospital bed. He is pleasantly surprised to see that Michelle Sarah is sitting at the end of the bed, watching over his recovery. HOMMER ... Michelle, is it true that the Baby Simpson dead in your house? Michelle Sarah holds an egg and a bottle of Mayonnaise. INT. THE SIMPSON HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - DAY Hommer wakes up in a hospital bed. He is pleasantly surprised to see that Maggie is sitting at the end of the bed, watching over his recovery. HOMMER ... Maggie, is it true that the Baby Simpson dead in your house? Maggie stares at him. HOMMER (repeats) ... Maggie, is it true that the Baby Simpson dead in your house? Maggie slowly smiles. HOMMER (O.S.) It's a funny dream. INT. THE SIMPSON HOUSE, MAGGIE'S BEDROOM - DAY Hommer wakes up in a hospital bed. He is pleasantly surprised to see that Maggie is sitting at the end of the bed, watching over his recovery. HOMMER ... Maggie, is it true that the Baby Simpson dead in your house? Maggie stares at him. HOMMER ... Maggie, is it true that the Baby Simpson dead in your house? Maggie slowly frowns. HOMMER (horrified whisper) ... It is. INT. HOSPITAL - DAY Hommer wakes up in a hospital bed. He is saddened to see that Maggie is not with him. In her place is a man named "GILL". HOMMER Where's Maggie? Where's my baby? GILL I only wish that everything would have been different if I could have been your friend. Gill holds Hommer's hand. GILL (O.S.) I could have been your friend forever. INT. THE SIMPSON HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - DAY The television blares static. Armin's head stretches through the wall and starts to address Hommer, who sits on the couch. ARMIN Hmm? HOMMER Hmm? ARMIN Hmm? They exchange glances. ARMIN You're welcome, Hommer. You're going home. You're going to turn into an animal and then play a wild game with the animals. Are you listening, Hommer? HOMMER I'm listening. ARMIN Most animals are born with a specific calling in their heads. Are you listening? HOMMER I'm listening. ARMIN Will you take my call? Hommer looks at him with a mix of confusion and fear. HOMMER I don't know... INT. ROBERT SEINBLUTH'S CAR - NIGHT Robert Seinbluth drives his car. In the backseat, Hommer sits in the middle, with a framed photo of Maggie hung around his neck. He looks sad. Man Mole and Carl are sitting beside him. CARL (muttering) Sleep is the mother of all lies. Sleep is the cousin of death, friend. And the graves are brother and sister. HOMMER Sleep is a luxury we can all get behind. ROBERT SEINBLUTH You want a Doif, Hommy? MAN MOLE I will not give you the green light. I will not allow you to consume the Fosters Lager. I will not permit this. HOMMER (sadly) Robert... my hands are tied. I cannot carry out this process. I will have to think about it later. ROBERT SEINBLUTH (angrily) Here's the money in the world, dude. Don't judge me if you have the money, dude. I'm broke and need your help to live. I'm so sorry, man. We watch as the car drives off into the distance. HOMMER (V.O.) Home is where the wild things are, and where the dogs are. Always have been, always shall be. There is no escaping the wild things here. There is only money in the bank. Everyone knows that standing is the law of the land, but does anyone else? In this town, everyone is considered an outlaw - including the cows. Is there any justice left in the world? EXT. CRACKER FACTORY - NIGHT Exterior shot of the Cracker Factory. INT. CRACKER FACTORY - NIGHT In the Cracker Factory, Hommer sits with his doppelgänger. HOMMER Hello. I'm Hommer Simpson. Do you want to drink this beer? HOMMER #2 looks at him warily. HOMMER (quiet) OK... He takes a sip, immediately projectile-vomiting. CUT TO BLACK. TEXT: "THE END" INT. KANG AND KODOS' SPACESHIP - UNKNOWN [EPILOGUE NOT AI-GENERATED] SFX: A klaxon blares overhead. EXTREME CLOSE-UP of the crevasses of a moist brain. We slowly track out of it into a WIDE SHOT, revealing that the brain is hooked up via a number of medical nodes to an oscilloscope and a supercomputer. The final composition of the shot reveals two slimy shoulders on either side of the frame. These shoulders belong to the aliens KANG & KODOS. KODOS (distressed) How regrettable. I'm afraid I have to declare the specimen clinically brain-dead. Egads, what a disaster! KANG (reassuring) It's a miracle we could reanimate its function at all, Kodos, with the extent of its decomposition. They turn to the metallic slab behind them, housing Hommer's dead body. His arms and legs are restrained by chains, his chest butterflied-open by the aliens' anatomical vivisection. All of his organs have been removed, his cadaver decomposing. KODOS It's difficult to estimate the time the cadaver has spent in the Zone. Judging from the state of rigor mortis, the specimen could have been dead for only 24 hours... KANG (excitable) This is a new frontier of science, Kodos. Another civilisation exists out there somewhere in the starry expanse. And now we possess a record of how this animal lives. KODOS It's a brave new world, Kang. Who knows what else is going to come out of that weird hole? We slowly traverse a pulsing interdimensional hole embedded in the wall of the ship - its walls almost look like flesh, contracting and expanding like muscular tissue. Eventually, as we reach the end of the CREDITS, a Doif can enters from the bottom of the frame, rotating from the lack of gravity, before splitting into two Doif cans. We follow one of them, seeing the other disappear into a second dimensional portal. ENDING CREDITS.